


Not without saying Goodbye

by Jaeminct



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Fluff and Angst, Goodbye, Happy Ending, Heart Attack, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Near Death Experience, SakuAtsu, sfw
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-11
Updated: 2021-03-11
Packaged: 2021-03-17 08:41:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,315
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29963793
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jaeminct/pseuds/Jaeminct
Summary: In which Atsumu denied Kiyoomi his kiss goodbye. A petty decision on his part and one he would live to regret.
Relationships: Miya Atsumu & Miya Osamu, Miya Atsumu/Sakusa Kiyoomi
Kudos: 30
Collections: Jaeminct- Sakuatsu Angst Week 2021





	Not without saying Goodbye

**Author's Note:**

> Day 1 of Sakuatsu angst week.  
> Prompt: Goodbye

“Babe, I’m leaving now.” Sakusa said as he gently shook Atsumu awake. Atsumu groaned as he was rudely awoken from his sleep.  
“What’d ya say?” Atsumu slurred, voice still heavy with sleep. He could have slapped Sakusa then and there, he was having the best dream ever.  
“I said I’m going to work now.” Sakusa repeated with a fond smile. He was so used to Atsumu’s grouchy morning’s by now that they didn’t surprise him anymore. He thought it was cute.   
“Then go. Why’d ya have to wake me.” Atsumu whined, and Sakusa chuckled. He pushed out his lips, indicating that he wanted his morning kiss and Atsumu scoffed. “D’ya really think I’m gonna give ya a kiss after that. I was havin’ a real good dream and ya interrupted me!”  
  
Sakusa knew Atsumu wasn’t really mad so he went along with the other’s performance. “Oh ‘Tsumu I am awfully sorry. I shall never make such a grave mistake again. Oh, forgive me, Atsumu The Better Miya.” He said with mock-sincerity and couldn’t help the smile that spread out across his face when Atsumu began to laugh.  
“Omi-omi, yer so bad at actin’” He said in between laughs, whatever grudge he was holding against the other forgotten.

“So...my bye-bye kiss.” Sakusa pushed out his lips once again.  
“Tempting but no, you can have two welcome-home kisses instead when you get home.”  
“Ugh, why?” Sakusa said in a tone that was dangerously close to a whine.  
“Because.”  
“Because what?”  
“Because I said so.” Atsumu clearly felt like being difficult and Sakusa sighed in resignation. 

“Fine I’ll wait. I might be home before you today, anyway. I kinda wanna work a half day.” Sakusa said as he got up from where he was kneeled down infront of where Atsumu lay on the king size bed.  
“Oh really why,” his eyes followed Sakusa’s every move and he noticed that his boyfriend’s movements were uncharacteristically slow. He sat up. “Are ya sick?”  
“No. At least I don’t think so,” his movements stilled as though he was stuck in thought, “My temperature’s fine, I checked it thrice, and I don’t feel _sick_ but I don’t feel fine either. I don’t know, I just feel quite tired and my chest is hurting a bit.”

“Hurting in an anxiety way or…?” Atsumu was definitely feeling concerned now. It had been a while since Sakusa had had an issue with his Anxiety that was important enough for him to mention, maybe even years; sometimes he would feel his heart hammering away in his chest in the middle of a store but he could control it now, the feelings of anxiety didn’t control his life anymore; he’d worked hard to get better and didn’t even need to take medication anymore, so for all of that progress to go down the drain would be heartbreaking. 

“No,” Sakusa shook his head slowly, “I don’t think this is it.”  
“D’ya wanna call in sick today?” Atsumu asked but the way he said it sounded more like an order.  
“I think I’ll be fine.” Sakusa said. He had everything ready to go now. He worked at Komori’s cafe, which was quite an easy job- no manual labor involved. “I’ll just take it easy.”

“ _Kiyoomi_!” Atsumu was at his wits end. Sakusa was never one to admit he was sick and it was frustrating at this point. “Just one time, will ya please swallow yer pride ‘n’ _listen_. You call in sick and I’ll tell Samu I’m not coming in today.”  
“I can’t. Motoya just fired the other worker, so it’s just me and him until further notice. But I promise if I start feeling any worse, I’ll call you and come straight home.” Atsumu bit his lip but agreed with a curt nod of the head. “Kiss?” he asked then proceeded to pucker his lips.

“I think I’ll take my kisses when I get back,” Sakusu grinned before slipping out of the room.  
“Love ya Omi!”  
“I love you too ‘Tsumu!”

Atsumu sighed as he heard the front door click shut. He still had three hours before his shift with Osamu and Suna at ‘Onigiri Miya’ began; he got out of bed and began to get ready regardless, there was no way he was going to be able to fall back asleep after that conversation. 

When he got to work he was far too distracted to bother his twin like usual and that didn’t escape Osamu.  
“Ya fight with yer boo or somethin’?” Osamu asked, snatching Atsumu’s phone. “Everytime I look at ya, yer looking at yer phone.” 

“Shut up Samu. I’m not even in the mood for yer nonsense.”  
“I didn’t even do nothin’!” Osamu raised his voice slightly.  
“I thought ya said no shoutin’ in the shop.”  
“First, it’s a _restaurant_ not a ‘shop’ and second I’m the owner, I can do whatever I wanna.” Osamu stuck his tongue out at Atsumu childishly earning a slap on the back of the head from Suna.  
“Usually I have no problem with yer arguing,” Suna began monotonously, “but Atsumu has been moping all day. It wouldn’t kill ya to be nice to him.”

“Hey. Yer supposed ta be on my side.” Osamu whined. To Suna it looked as though the twins had swapped personalities. “But okay. I’ll leave ‘im alone”- he turned to Atsmu- “as long as ya promise to turn off yer damn phone.” He handed the said object to his twin but Atsumu shook his head. 

“I’m expectin’ a call from Omi, I think he’s sick, but he insisted on going to work.” Atsumu ran his hand through his hair for the nth time that day.  
“Sick? How sick? Knowing the two of ya it might be a cold that yer over exaggerating.”  
“Well he ain’t _sick_ sick but there ain’t no way in hell he’s fine.” Osamu made a noise of interest. “He was just so not-Omi. He was real slow and sloppy in his movements, he said his chest hurt as well. The second he gets off of work, I’m takin’ ’im to a hospital.” He groaned. “Look, I’ll stop checkin’ my phone, but I ain’t gonna turn it off.”   
  


Atsumu's heart began to speed up the minute he heard his ringtone. He answered the call to hear Komori frantically spluttering something that he couldn’t make out and his heart stopped. He knew it was about Omi. 

“Komori. Take a deep breath and start again.”  
“I’m in the ambulance with Kiyoomi. I don’t- I don’t know what happened, he was fine and then… and then he was throwing up and then he passed out and then I-I checked his pulse and it was so… it was so weak. Then I called an ambu… an ambulance and we’re on our way to xxxxxxx xxxxxx hospital.”

In that moment Atsumu realized what pure, paralyzing, fear was. His throat ran dry and he couldn’t even find it in him to reply. He couldn’t even move. It felt as if gravity was pushing him down extra hard and he almost collapsed. He placed a hand on the metal table top beside him while the other lowered the phone away from his ear.   
  


For barely a moment, time slowed.   
  


Then the world resumed it’s usual pace, only this time, Atsumu didn’t feel afraid, he didn’t _feel_ _anything_ , it was like his brain had shut down. His knees buckled and this time he let himself fall. He watched and listened to Osamu take his phone and continue the call with Komori.

It was as if he was floating just outside of his body. As he sat in the passenger seat while Osamu drove to the hospital, Atsumu felt a strange sense of _calm_ . He was aware that Sakusa was potentially _dying_ in an ambulance but it was as though his brain had shut down before he could fully process the gravity of the situation.  
Even when Komori tearfully informed him that Kiyoomi had had a heart attack and was in surgery, Atsumu didn’t quite manage to process it. 

The ticking hands of time were turning far too quickly for him to catch up.

Across the waiting room, Atsumu saw a couple, a woman and a man, her blue scrubs indicating she was starting her shift and was walking off when she turned and jogged back to her significant other to give him a kiss. A quick peck on the lips, something so easy, something with sentimental value, something Atsumu had practically denied Sakusa that morning. With that thought the weight of reality came crashing down on him. He curled in on himself, on the plastic seat that was suddenly unbearably uncomfortable, resting his elbows on his knees and his face in his hands. 

Atsumu began to cry.

All his life he’d thought he was an optimist but now he was now realising that wasn’t really true. There was no brightside that Atsumu could think of; the way he saw it, Sakusa had already died on the operating table. 

He could feel Osamu and Komori looking at him every so often; he could feel Osamu’s hand gently rubbing his back; he could feel the tears soaking up his face and palms; he could feel nervous sweats gathering in places and making him more uncomfortable than he already was; he could feel the thumping of his heart inside his ribcage and his blood roaring in his ears; he could feel his heart breaking at the thought of leaving that hospital without his Omi-omi beside him.

  
Apart from the sound of Atsumu’s poorly muffled sobs, they sat in silence for a while until the head surgeon came out to meet them. The look on his face made Atsumu want to be sick.

“The good news is, he is alive,”-the doctor paused, giving them a chance to thank whatever supernatural forces they believed in- “however, he had an allergic reaction to the anesthesia we used during the surgery He developed a very rare condition called malignant hyperthermia.” It was clear the surgeon had not finished talking but Atsumu interrupted him anyway.

“What’s that? Is he gonna be ok? God, please say he’s gonna be ok.” He felt a hand on his shoulder.  
“Let the doctor finish explainin’ Tsumu.” said Osamu.

“I… Yeah, um sorry.” 

“He will be fine,” the doctor continued, “we managed to get the situation under control before it got too serious. We have him on a drug called Dantrolene-” The doctor didn’t manage to get much further as he was interrupted again.

“A DRUG!” Atsumu screeched. “YOU’RE GONNA TURN HIM INTO AN ADDICT! Oh my God.”  
“Stupid idiot, are ya dumb Tsumu, I swear. Ya ain’t ever heard of medical drugs or what? Sorry Doc, please continue.”  
  
“We also have him under Intensive care to help monitor the symptoms. You may visit him but you’ll need to wash your hands before and after.”  
“Is he awake?” Komori asked in a nasally voice that still somehow sounded happy.  
“No but he should be in about four hours.”  
“Can we see him now?”  
“Yes, he’s in room 425, if you’ll excuse me I have a few patients to check up on.”

The trio made their way to Sakusa’s room with little trouble, except from Atsmu getting scolded by a nurse for running.

Atsumu took the only chair by the bedside and sat there holding Sakusa’s hand for what felt like an eternity. It was still warm, as warm as it had been that morning when all was still well. Sakusa’s skin was red and there were rashes all over his neck, an oxygen mask on his face, multiple bags of fluid attached to his right arm. While those things were upsetting they were all overpowered by the beeping machines attached to his sleeping body. 

“The worst is over now Omi,” Osamu and Komori stepped out of the room to give the couple some privacy, “gave me quite a scare ya know. But it’s ok now, it’s all ok. Get some rest and I’ll see ya tomorrow yeah.”

  
He did, infact, see him the next day, when Sakusa had woken up. His skin had less blotches and rashes than before.  
“Hey there you,” Atsumu greeted in the cheeriest voice he could muster. Sakusa, who was sitting up on his hospital bed, waved shyly at him in response. Atsumu could tell he was feeling drowsy as he was having a hard time holding his head up. 

“How ya feelin’?” He asked, searching through his bag to find the mask he packed for the germaphobe. When he found it, he held it out for the younger who shook his head slowly.  
“They won’t let me have that in here.” Sakusa slurred, he sounded as though he was heavily intoxicated.  
“Oh, really?” Atsumu knew there were certain things you couldn’t bring to the icu but he never thought a mask would be one of them. 

“Dunno,” Sakusa shrugged and his head lolled back in a such a pathetic way that it brought tears to Atsumu’s eyes.

He pretended to look for something, but Sakusa still noticed. _Oh Kiyoomi,_ still as attentive as ever even though he was high on painkillers.  
“What’s wrong?” 

“I just… It’s scary… I’m scared… It’s silly but Omi please don’t… _please don’t leave me_.” Atsumu sniffled, clenched his jaw and stared at the white ceiling, blinking back tears.  
“Of course I won’t,” Sakusa seemed unaware of the fact he was drooling as he spoke, “how could I leave without saying goodbye?” 

Atsumu chuckled and wiped the saliva from his boyfriend's chin. “So ya won’t leave me?” He confirmed, trying to rid any remaining anxiety.  
Sakusa nodded, with too much elegance for someone who could barely sit up, “At least, not without saying goodbye.” 

Atsumu leaned forward to plant a kiss on his Omi’s forehead. “Don’t ever scare me like that again.”

**Author's Note:**

> I was originally going to kill Sakusa but I couldn't. Let me know what you thought or any feedback you might have. I don't know, did you think there was something I could have done better? Kudos and comments are much appreciated.


End file.
